from the book, 'Preparation for Death'
CONSIDERATION I
Description of one who has
Departed this Life
"Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt them return." Gen. iii. 19.
FIRST POINT
CONSIDER that thou art dust, and unto dust thou must return. The day will come
when thou must die, and be placed in a grave where "the worms" shall
"cover thee." (Isa. xiv. n.) The same fate awaits all, both nobles
and plebeians, both princes and vassals. Directly the soul shall leave the
body, with the last gasp, it will go into eternity, and the body will return to
its dust. "When Thou takest away their breath they die, and are turned
again to their dust." (Ps. civ. 29.)
Imagine to yourself a person, whose soul has just departed. Behold that pale
corpse, which is still upon the bed, the head fallen upon the breast; the hair
dishevelled and bathed in the sweat of death; the eyes sunken; the cheeks
hollow; the face of ashy paleness; the tongue and the lips of a leaden hue; the
body cold and heavy. Those who see it grow pale and tremble. How many there are
who, upon seeing a relation or friend in this condition, have changed their
life, and have left the world!
But still more dreadful is it when the body begins to decay. A few hours or
days will hardly have passed ere it will become offensive. The windows will
have to be opened; incense will have to be burned nay, it must be sent in haste
to the church to be buried, that the whole house be not infected. Behold to what
that proud, that voluptuous man is reduced? In life he was the favourite, the
one who was sought after in society; now he makes all those who look upon him
shudder. His relations hasten to have him removed from the house, and men are
hired to bear him, shut up in a coffin, to his grave. He was once famous for
his great talent for his great politeness for his courteous behaviour, and for
his facetiousness; but now that he is dead, his memory will soon pass
away," their memorial is perished with them." (Ps. ix. 6.)
Upon hearing the news of his death, some people say he was of great dignity
others, that he left his family well-provided for; some grieve because he had
done them good, and others rejoice because they derive some benefit from his
death. Within a short time, however, he is spoken of by no one. And his nearest
relations, even from the hour of his death, will not hear him mentioned, lest
their grief should be renewed.
When the visits of condolence are made, other things form the subject of conversation;
and if any one by chance alludes to the departed one, the relations immediately
exclaim, "In kindness, do not mention him to me." You must consider
that what you have done at the death of your friends and relations, others will
do at your death. Those who are living, enter upon the stage of life, to occupy
the wealth and the position of the dead, and little or no esteem is paid to the
dead, and very little mention is ever made of them. Your relations will at
first mourn for you for some days, but they will soon be consoled with that
share of property which will fall to them, so that they will shortly rejoice
because of your death, and in the same room in which your soul has gone forth,
to be judged by Jesus Christ, they will dance and eat, laugh and play, as they
did before; and your soul, where will it be then?
Affections and Prayers
Jesus, my Redeemer, I thank Thee that Thou didst not let me die when I was in
disgrace with Thee. During how many of the past years have I not deserved to be
cast into hell? If I had died on such a day, or on such a night, what would
have become of me for all eternity? I thank Thee for this, O my God. I accept
my death as a satisfaction for my sins; and I accept it in whatever manner it
may please Thee to send it to me. But since Thou hast waited for me until now,
wait for me yet a little longer. "Let me alone, that I may take comfort a
little." (Job x. 20.) Give me time to weep over the offences which I have
committed against Thee, before Thou comest to judge me.
I will no longer resist Thy sweet voice that calls me. Perhaps these words
which I have just read may be the last call for me. I confess that I do not
deserve pity, for Thou hast so often pardoned me; and I, ungrateful one that I
am, have again offended Thee; but "a broken and contrite heart, O God,
shalt Thou not despise." (Ps. li. 17.) O Lord, since Thou wilt not despise
a broken and contrite heart, look upon a traitor, who being repentant, flees
unto Thee. "Cast me not away from Thy presence." (Ps. li. 1 1.) In
mercy, do not cast me from Thee, for Thou hast said, "Him that cometh to
me I will in no wise cast out." (St. John vi. 37.) It is true that I have
offended Thee more tnan many others, because I have been favoured by Thee with
light and grace; but the blood which Thou hast shed for me gives me courage,
and gives me pardon, if only I repent. Yes, O my Sovereign Good, I do repent
with my whole heart for having despised Thee. Pardon me, and give me grace to
love Thee for the tune to come. I have offended Thee too many times already. I
will not spend the life that remains to me, O my Jesus, in giving Thee offence,
but I will spend it ever weeping over the displeasure I have caused Thee, and
in loving Thee with all my heart, Thou, O God, who art so worthy of infinite
love.
SECOND POINT
In order more clearly to see what indeed thou art, my Christian soul, St. John
Chrysostom observes, "Go to a sepulchre, contemplate dust, ashes, worms,
and sigh." See how that corpse becomes at first yellow, and then black.
Afterwards there is seen upon the body a white and unpleasant mould. Then there
issues forth a foul and corrupt matter, which sinks into the ground. In that
corruption many worms are generated, which feed upon the flesh. The rats then
come to feast upon the body, some on the outside, others entering into the
mouth and bowels. The cheeks, the lips, and the hair fall in pieces; the ribs
are the first to become bare of flesh, then the arms and the legs. The worms
after having consumed the flesh eat each other, and, in the end, nothing
remains of that body but a fetid skeleton, which, in course of time, is
divided, the bones being separated, and the head falling from the body: they
"become like the chaff of the summer threshing-floors, and the wind carried
them away.' (Dan. ii. 35.) Behold, then, what man is a little dust upon a
threshing-floor, which is carried away by the wind. Behold that nobleman, who
was considered to be the life and soul of society, where is he? Go into his
room, he is not there; if you look into his bed, it belongs to another; his
clothes, his arms, others have already taken and divided them. If you wish to
see him, you must seek for him in that grave where he is changed into all that
is unpleasant, and into fleshless bones. O my God, that that body fed with so
many delicacies, clothed with so much pomp, attended by so many servants,
should be reduced to this! O ye saints, ye, who for the love of that God whom
ye loved alone, upon this earth, knew how to mortify your bodies; and now your bones
are kept and prized as sacred relics in golden shrines; and your souls which
are beatified, rejoice in the presence of God, waiting for the final Day, when
your bodies even, will again become the companions of your souls in glory, as
they were once the companions of your souls, in bearing the cross of this
world. This is the true love of the body, so to burden it with mortifications
here, that it may be happy in eternity; and to deny it those pleasures here
which would render it unhappy in eternity.
Affections and Prayers
Behold, therefore, O my God, to what my body will become reduced, through which
I have so often offended Thee, it will be reduced even to worms and corruption.
But this does not grieve me, O my God, nay, it rather cheers me, for this my
flesh to become putrid and consumed, which made me lose Thee, O my Sovereign
Good. But it does grieve me very much, to think that I should have taken so
much delight in those wretched pleasures which have so often displeased Thee.
But I will not distrust Thy mercy. Thou hast waited for me to give me pardon.
"Therefore will the Lord wait that He may be gracious unto you."
(Isa. xxx. 18.) And Thou wilt pardon me if I repent. Yes, Thou wilt, for I do
repent with all my heart for having despised Thee, O God of infinite goodness.
I will repeat to Thee as did St. Catherine of Genoa, "No more sins, my
Jesus, no more sins." No, I will no longer abuse Thy patience; neither
will I wait to embrace Thee until the hour of death. O my Crucified Love, now
will I embrace Thee, now will I commend my soul into Thy keeping.
"Into Thy hands I commend my spirit." My soul has been many years in
this world without loving Thee; give me light and strength to love Thee during
the life that remains to me. I will not wait until the hour of death to love
Thee; from this moment, I will love Thee, and embrace Thee, and unite myself to
Thee, and I promise never more to leave Thee.
THIRD POINT
My brother, in this description of death, thou seest thyself, and that, which
one day thou wilt be, "Dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou
return." Reflect, for in a few years, nay, perhaps in a few months, and
even days, thou wilt become a mass of corruption and worms. By thinking upon
this, Job became a saint," I have said to corruption, Thou art my father,
to the worm, Thou art my brother and sister." (Job xvii. 14.) Everything
must have an end; and if, when the hour of death arrives, thy soul is lost,
everything will be lost for thee. St. Lawrence Justinian says, "Consider thyself
as dead already, since thou knowest thou must die. If now the hour of thy death
were approaching, what is there of good, that thou wouldst not like to have
done? Now, that thou art living, reflect, that one day thou must die.
Bonaventure observes, that in order to guide the vessel aright, the pilot must
place himself at the helm: even so must a man, if he wishes to lead a holy
life, reflect that death is ever nigh. Therefore, S. Bernard observes,
"Look upon the sins of youth, and blush; look on the sins of manhood and
weep; look upon the present evil habits of thy life, and tremble, and hasten to
make amends."
When Camillus de Lellis beheld the graves of the dead, he said within himself,
"If all these dead bodies could come back again to life, what would they not
do to gain eternal life? and I, who have now the opportunity what am I doing
for my soul?" Yet it was humility on the part of this saint which caused
him to say this. But perhaps, my brother, thou mightst with reason fear, lest
thou shouldst be like that barren fig-tree, concerning which our blessed Lord
said, "Behold these three years I come seeking fruit on this fig-tree, and
find none." (St. Luke xiii. 7.) Thou, who for many more years than three
hast been living in this world, what fruit hast thou yielded? Take care,
remarks St. Bernard, for the Lord does not require flowers only, but seeks for
fruit also; that is to say, not only good desires and resolutions, but also
good works. Therefore, take care to make good use of the time which God in His
mercy grants to you; do not wait until the "tune shall be no longer"
to desire to do good when it shall be said unto you: "Time shall be no
longer, depart."
Make haste, it is now almost time to leave the world; make haste, what is done,
is done.
Affections and Prayers
Look upon me, O my God, for I am that tree which for so many years deserved to
hear these words, "Cut it down, why cumbereth it the ground?" (St.
Luke xiii. 7;) yes, because during the many years that I have been in the
world, I have yielded no either fruit than the briars and thorns of sin. But
Thou, O Lord, dost not wish me to despair. Thou hast said to all those that
seek Thee, that they shall find Thee. "Seek and ye shall find." I do
seek Thee, my God, and I do desire Thy grace. I am indeed sorry for all the
sins I have committed against Thee. I would grieve even to death because of
them. During the past years, I have often fled from Thee; but now I value Thy
friendship more than all the kingdoms of the world. I will no longer resist Thy
calls. Thou dost wish me to be Thine alone. I yield myself wholly to Thee,
without any reserve. Thou didst give Thyself entirely for me, upon the Cross;
now I give myself entirely to Thee. Thou hast said: "If ye shall ask
anything in my name, I will do it." (St. John xiv. 14.) My Jesus, I trust
in this Thy great promise, and in Thy name; and through Thy merits I seek of
Thee Thy grace and Thy holy love. Let Thy grace and Thy most holy love abound
in my soul, where sin did once abound. I thank Thee greatly, for having given
me the Spirit to make this prayer to Thee. Whilst Thou dost inspire me to pray,
it is a sign that Thou wilt graciously hear me. Hear me, O my Jesus, and give
me a great love towards Thee, and give me a great desire to please Thee, and
then the strength to follow the desire.
Considerations
by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
from the book, 'Preparation for Death'
CONSIDERATION II
All Ends with Death
"An end, the end is come." Ezek. vii. 2.
FIRST POINT
BY the worldly, those only are considered happy who enjoy the things of this
world, its pleasures, its riches, its pomps; but death puts an end to all these
joys of earth, "For what is your life? it is even a vapour that appeareth
for a little time." (S. James iv. 14.) The vapours which arise from the
earth, sometimes when raised in the air and clothed with the light of the sun,
cause a beautiful appearance; but how long does it last? It vanishes with a
little wind. Behold that great man, who to-day is courted, feared, and almost
adored; to-morrow, when he is dead, he will be despised, reviled, and scorned.
When death comes, all must be left. The brother of that great servant of God,
Thomas a Kempis, boasted of having made a beautiful house; but a friend told
him one day that there was one great defect. What is it? he demanded. "The
defect," replied the other, "is, that you have had a door made in
it." "Indeed!" exclaimed he; "is the door a defect?"
"Yes," replied the friend, "because one day you will have to be
carried out of that door dead, and thus will you have to leave your house and
all that is in it."
Death, in short, despoils man of all the things in this world. What a sad sight
it is to see a prince carried forth from his palace, never more to enter it,
and to see others take possession of his furniture, his money, and of all his
other goods! He is left in the grave with a garment on that will scarcely cover
his body. There is no one now to prize and to flatter him; neither are there
any who take account of his last commands. Saladin, who acquired many kingdoms
in Asia, when dying, said, that when his body was taken to be buried, a man
should go before it, with his shirt suspended to a pole, crying, "This is
all that Saladin carries to the grave." When the body of that prince is shut
up in the grave, the flesh will soon fall off, and his skeleton will no longer
be distinguished from other skeletons. St. Basil crys, "Contemplate the
sepulchre, and see whether you can distinguish who was the servant and who was
the lord."
Diogenes was one day observed by Alexander the Great to be anxiously seeking
for something amidst certain skulls. "What dost thou seek?" inquired
Alexander, with curiosity. "I am seeking," he replied, "the
skull of thy father, King Philip, and I cannot distinguish it; if thou canst
find it, show it to me." In this world, men are born of unequal rank, but
after death all will be equal, observes Seneca. And Horace said, that death
makes the spade equal to the sceptre. Finally, when - death comes, "the
end comes;" everything is ended, and everything must be left, and nothing
is taken to the grave, of all the things of this world.
Affections and Prayers
Since, my dear Lord, Thou dost grant me understanding to know, that all that
the world esteems, is but vanity and foolishness, give me strength to leave all
its allurements before death may come to snatch me from them. Alas! wretched
me, how often, because of the miserable pleasures and possessions of this
world, have I not offended, and lost Thee. O Thou Infinite Good, O my Jesus, O
my Heavenly Physician, look upon my poor miserable soul, and upon the heavy
wounds I have made with my sins, and do Thou have mercy upon me. "If Thou
wilt Thou canst make me clean." I know Thou wilt make me clean; but in
order to cleanse me, Thou desirest that I should repent of all the injuries I
have done Thee. I do indeed repent of them with my whole heart; heal me,
therefore, now that Thou canst do so. "Heal my soul, for I have sinned
against Thee." (Ps. xli. 4.) I have often been forgetful of Thee, but Thou
hast never been forgetful of me; and now make me feel that Thou wilt also
forget those offences which I have committed against Thee, if only I abhor
them. "If the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed .
. . he shall surely live, he shall not die." (Ezek. xyiii. 21.) I do,
indeed, detest them, and hate them above every other evil. Forget Thou, O my
Redeemer, the sins I have committed against Thee. In future, I would rather
lose all, even life itself, than Thy grace. And of what use are all the world's
treasures to me without Thy grace? Ah, help me! for Thou knowest how weak I am.
Satan will never cease to tempt me; he is now preparing to assault, me, in
order to make me his slave once more. No, my Jesus, I know Thou wilt not
abandon me. I wish to be the slave of Thy love from this day forth. Thou alone
art my Lord; Thou hast created me, Thou hast redeemed me, Thou hast loved me
beyond all others; Thou alone deservest to be loved; Thee only will I love.
SECOND POINT
Philip II, King of Spain, being near death, called his son to him, and casting
aside his royal robe, and showing him his breast, which was all gnawed by
worms, said to him, "Prince, see how we die, and see how all the grandeur
of this world is finished." Theodoret spoke truly when he said, that
" death fears neither riches nor guards, nor the purple; rottenness
follows, and health fails." So that every one who dies, although he may be
a prince, takes nothing with him to the grave; all the glory remains upon the
bed where he died. "For he shall carry nothing away with him when he
dieth: neither shall his pomp follow him." (Ps. xlix. 17.)
St. Antoninus relates, that when Alexander the Great was dead, a certain
philosopher, exclaiming, said, "Behold he who was treading upon the earth
yesterday, now by that same earth is possessed. Yesterday, the whole earth was
not enough for him, now, he lies in about seven spans thereof. Yesterday, he
conducted his armies over the earth, and now he is taken by a few men to be put
under the earth." But rather let us listen to God, when He says: "Why
is earth and ashes proud?" (Ecclus. x. 9.) Man, dost thou not see, that
thou art nothing but dust and ashes; and of what, therefore, art thou proud?
Why, therefore, dost thou spend thy years, and thy thoughts, in seeking to make
thyself great in this world? Death will soon come, and then all thy grandeur
will come to an end, and also all thy designs. "And then all his thoughts
perish." (Ps. cxlvi. 3.)
Oh how much happier was the death of St. Paul the hermit, who lived sixty years
shut up in a cave, than the death of Nero, who was emperor of Rome? How much
happier was the death of Felix, a Capuchin lay brother, than the death of Henry
VIII, who lived in royal splendour, but who was the enemy of God? But we must
consider, that these holy men, in order to die such a happy death, gave up
everything their country, the hopes and pleasures which the world offered them;
and they embraced a life which was poor and despised. They buried their lives
in this world, so that they might not be buried when dead, in hell. But how can
the worldly, who are living in sin in worldly pleasure, in dangerous occasions
how can they, I repeat, hope to die a happy death? God now threatens those who
are live in sin, that when they are on the bed of death they will seek Him, but
they will not find Him. "Ye shall seek me and shall not find me."
(St. John vii. 34.) God says, that that will be the time for vengeance, but not
for mercy. "To me belongeth vengeance and recompence." (Deut. xxxii.
35.) Reason tells us the same; for at the hour of death, a worldly man will
find his mind fail him; his heart dark and hardened, because of his evil
habits: his temptations will be very strong; how can he, who in life has been wont
to yield to sin and to let sin conquer him how can such an one, I say, ever
expect to be able to resist temptation at the hour of death? An all-powerful
Divine grace is then needed to change his heart; but will God give him this
Divine grace? Has he deserved it, during the unholy life he has led? And does
he deserve it now, that he is dying? And yet this is a question concerning his
eternal happiness or his eternal misery. How is it then that he who thinks upon
this, and believes in the truths of faith, does not give up everything, so as
to give himself entirely to God, who, according to our works, so will He judge
us?
Affections and Prayers
Ah, Lord, how many nights have I, wretched one that I am, laid me down to sleep
at enmity with Thee? O God, what a wretched state was my soul then in! It was
hated by Thee, and it did not mind Thy hatred. Once I was condemned to hell,
the sentence only remained to be executed. But Thou, my God, hast never ceased
to seek me, and to invite me to pardon. But who is it who can assure me that I
am pardoned now? Must I live, my Jesus, in this fear until the time shall come
for me to be judged? But the grief that I feel at having offended Thee; the
desire which I have to love Thee; and much more, Thy great compassion, my loved
Redeemer; make me hope to remain in Thy blessed favour. I am very sorry for
having offended Thee, O Thou Sovereign Good, and I love Thee beyond all things.
I have resolved to lose all rather than lose Thy grace and Thy holy love. Thou
desirest that heart which seeks Thee to rejoice. "Let the heart of them
rejoice that seek the Lord." (i Chron. xvi. 10.) O Lord, I detest my
offences against Thee; give me courage and confidence; do not reproach me with
my ingratitude, for I am very conscious of it; I detest it. Thou hast said,
"I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn
from his way and live." (Ezek. xxxiii. 1 1.) Yes, my God, I will leave all
and be converted to Thee. I seek Thee; I desire Thee; and I love Thee more than
all things. Give me Thy holy love, and I ask for nothing more.
THIRD POINT
David likened the happiness of this present life to a dream, - when one
awakens. "Yea even like as a dream, when one awaketh." (Ps. Ixxiii.
19.) A certain author observes, "In a dream the senses being at rest,
great things appear, and are not, and quickly vanish away." The goods of
this world appear great, but in truth they are nothing; like sleep, they last
but a short time, and then they all vanish away. This thought namely, that all
things end with death made St. Francis Borgia give himself up entirely to God.
This saint was obliged to accompany the body of the Empress Isabella to
Granada. When the coffin was opened, all those present fled, because of the
dreadful sight and smell; but S. Francis, led by Divine light, remained to
contemplate, in that body, the vanity of the world; and looking upon it, he
said, "Art thou then my empress? Art thou that great one to whom so many
great ones bowed the knee? O my mistress, Isabella, where is now thy majesty
and thy beauty?" " Even thus," he concluded within himself,
"do the grandeurs and the crowns of this world end. From this day forward
I will therefore serve a Master Who can never die!" Therefore, from that time
he gave himself entirely to the love of Jesus crucified; and then he formed
this resolution, that if his wife should die he would become a religious, which
resolution he afterwards fulfilled by entering the Society of Jesus. Truly,
then, did one disabused of the world write these words on a skull: Cogitanti
vilescunt omnia. It is impossible for him who thinks upon death to love the
world, and therefore are there so many unhappy lovers of this world; because
they do not think upon death." O ye sons of men, how long will ye blaspheme
mine honour: and have such pleasure in vanity, and seek after leasing?"
(Ps. iv. 2.) O miserable children of Adam, the Holy Spirit warns us; why
therefore do you not drive away from your hearts that affection for the world
which causes you to love vanity and deceit? That which happened to your
forefathers will one day happen to you; they, at one time were living in the
same houses, and many slept upon the same beds that you do now but now they are
no more: the same will happen to you.
Therefore, my brother, give thyself now to God, before death shall come to
Thee. "Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might."
(Eccles. ix. 10.) Whatsoever thou canst do to-day do it, and wait not until
to-morrow, because this day will pass away, and will never return, and
to-morrow death might overtake you, so that you would then be able to do
nothing at all. Quickly remove yourself from all that separates, or that may
separate you from God. Let us now give up all our love for this world's goods,
before death takes them away from us by force." Blessed are the dead which
die in the Lord." (Rev. xiv. 13.) Blessed are those, who, when dying, are
found dead to the affection of this world. By such as these, death is not
feared it is desired, it is joyfully embraced; for instead of separating them
from all that they love, it then unites them to their Sovereign Good, Who is
alone loved by them, and Who will make them blessed for evermore.
Affections and Prayers
My dear Redeemer, I indeed thank Thee for having waited for me. What would have
become of me if I had died when I was far from Thee? For ever blessed be Thy
mercy, and Thy patience, which Thou hast exercised towards me, during the many
years that are past. I thank Thee for the light and grace with which Thou dost
now assist me. At one time I did not love Thee, and then I cared little for
being loved by Thee. Now I love Thee with all my heart, and now I have no
greater grief, than what I feel, for having once displeased a God so gracious.
This grief torments me, but the torment is sweet, because this grief gives me
confidence that Thou hast indeed pardoned me. My sweet Saviour, would that I
had died over and over again, rather than once even, to have given Thee
offence. I tremble and fear, lest at any time I should ever again displease
Thee. Ah, rather let me die a most painful death, than that I should ever again
lose Thy grace. Once I was the slave of hell, but now I am Thy servant, O God
of my soul. Thou hast said that Thou wilt love those who love Thee. I love them
that love me. I do love Thee, therefore Thou art mine, and I am Thine. I might
lose Thee at some time, but this is the grace that I seek, namely, that it
would be better for me to die, than to lose Thee again. Thou hast given me so
many graces that I have not; asked Thee. for, therefore I cannot fear that Thou
wilt fail to grant me this grace, for which I am now asking Thee. Never again
let me lose Thee; give me Thy holy love, and nothing more can I desire.
Considerations
by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
from the book, 'Preparation for Death'
CONSIDERATION III
The Shortness of Life
"For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a
little time." St. James iv. 14.
FIRST POINT
WHAT is your life? It is like unto a vapour, which is dispersed by a breath of
wind, and is no more. All know that they must die; but the mistake that so many
make is, that they imagine that death is so far off, that it will never
overtake them. But no; for Job warns us that the life of man is short: "Man
is of few days. . . He cometh forth like a flower, and is cut down." (Job
xiv. i, 2.) The Lord commanded Isaiah to preach this same truth:
"Cry," He said to him, "All flesh is grass. . . The grass
withereth, the flower fadeth." (Isa. xl. 6, 7.) The life of man is like
the life of a blade of grass; death comes, the blade is dried up, and behold
life is finished, and the flower of all grandeur and of all earthly possessions
is cut-down. "My days are swifter than a post." (Job ix. 25.) Death
comes; to meet us more quickly than a messenger, and we at every moment run
towards death. At every step we take, at every breath we draw, we approach
death. During the time I write, observes St. Jerome, I am approaching death.
"For we must needs die, and are as water spilt on the ground, which cannot
be gathered up again." (2 Sam. xiv. 14.) Thou seest how that stream flows
to the sea; and these running waters, they will never return again; thus, my
brother, do thy days pass, and thou drawest near to death: so do thy pleasures
pass thy amusements, pomps, praises, acclamations and what remains? "The
graves are ready for me." (Job xvii. I.) We shall be cast into a grave,
and there we shall have to lie deprived of everything. At the moment of death
the remembrance of all the delights enjoyed in life, of all the honours we have
acquired, will only serve to increase the grief and the mistrust that we shall
feel as to obtaining eternal salvation. The miserable worldly one will then
exclaim, Alas! my house, my gardens, that furniture, those paintings, those
garments, within a short time will no longer be mine! "The graves are
ready for me." Alas! for at that time no earthly possession will be
regarded except with sorrow, by him who has loved it with, such devotedness. And
this grief will only serve to place the salvation of the soul in greater
danger; for we know that those people who are so fond of the world, at the time
of death, will only permit their infirmities, the physicians who are to be
called in, and the remedies which may relieve them, to be discussed; and when
the condition of their souls is spoken of, they immediately grow weary, and
desire that they may be left to repose, because they have a headache, and they
cannot bear the noise of conversation; and when sometimes they answer, they get
confused, neither do they know what to say. Even so do those die who think but
little upon death.
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God and Lord of infinite greatness, I blush to appear before Thee. How
often have I esteemed Thy friendship of less moment than a base pleasure, a
passion of anger, a little earth, a vain whim, a vapour? I adore and kiss Thy
holy wounds, which I, nevertheless, have inflicted on Thee by my sins, but,
through which, however, I hope for pardon and salvation. Make me to feel, O my
Jesus, the grievous wrong I have done Thee in leaving Thee Thou Who art the
Fountain of all good to drink of waters which are putrid and poisonous. What do
I now feel, because of all my many offences against Thee, except remorse of conscience
and fruits for hell? "Father, . . . I am no more worthy to be called Thy
son." (St. Luke xv. 21.) My Father, do not cast me from Thee. It is true
that I do not deserve Thy love, that I may become Thy son; but Thou hast died
to give me pardon. Thou hast said, "Turn ye unto me, . . . and I will turn
unto you." (Zach. i. 3.) I leave every gratification, I renounce all the
pleasures that the world can give me, and I turn to Thee. Pardon me through
that Blood which Thou hast shed for me, for I repent with all my heart, for all
the offences which I have done against Thee. I repent, for I love Thee beyond
all other things. I am not worthy to love Thee, but Thou art indeed worthy to
be loved; let me love Thee, do not turn from me, let that heart which once neglected
Thee now love Thee. Thou didst not leave me to die, when I was living in sin,
in order that I might come to love Thee yes, I do indeed desire to love Thee
during the remainder of my life, and I would love none but Thee. Help me, give
me holy perseverance, and Thy most holy love.
SECOND POINT
King Hezekiah wept and said, "I have cut off like a weaver my life; . . .
from day even to night wilt Thou make an end of me." (Isa. xxxviii. 12.)
Oh! how many who are busy weaving, that is, planning and executing their
worldly designs, which they have undertaken with such care, are overtaken by
death, which cuts off all. At the hour of death, all the glory of everything
that is worldly vanishes away, applause, amusements, pomps, and grandeur. Great
secret of death! which makes us see that which the lovers of the world do not
see. Fortunes which have been envied, the grandest dignities, the proudest
triumphs, lose all their splendour when they are reviewed from the bed of
death. The notions of certain false happiness, which we have formed in our own
minds, these are changed into exceeding great indignation, against our own
folly. The black and gloomy shadow of death covers and obscures all dignities
even though they be royal.
Our passions, now make the things of this earth appear different from what they
really are; death unveils them, and makes us see what in truth they are nothing
but smoke, dust, vanity, and misery. O my God! of what avail are riches,
possessions, and kingdoms in death, when nothing is needed but a coffin, and a
simple robe to cover the body? Of what avail are honours, when nothing remains
of them but a funeral train and a pompous burial, which will assist the soul in
no way if it be lost? Of what avail is beauty, if nothing remains of it but
worms, corruption, and horror, even before death, and afterwards nothing but a
little foul dust?
"He hath made me also a byword of the people." (Job xvii. 6.) That
rich man dies, that minister, that captain, and then he will be spoken of
everywhere; if he has led a wicked life, he will become a byword of the people,
and he will serve as a warning to others, being an example of the vanity of the
world, and also an example of Divine justice. In the grave his ashes will be
mingled with the ashes of the poor. "The small and great are there."
(Job iii. 19.) Of what use has the beautiful form of his body been to him, if
now he is only a mass of corruption? What has the authority he possessed
availed him, if his body is now thrown into a grave to corrupt, and his soul
has been cast into hell to burn? Oh! what misery to be the object of these sad
reflections to others, instead of making them for his own profit. Let us,
therefore, be persuaded that the proper time for satisfying the stings of a
remorseful conscience, is during the time of life, and not at the hour of
death. Let us hasten now to do that which at that time we shall not be able to
do. "The time is short." All things quickly pass away and end
therefore, let us so act, that all we do, may serve towards obtaining our
eternal salvation.
Affections and Prayers
O God of my soul, O Infinite Goodness, have mercy upon me, who have so often
offended Thee. I did indeed know that by sinning I should lose Thy grace, and I
did not mind losing it; but teach me what I can do to regain it. If Thou
desirest that I should repent of my sins, I do repent with my whole heart; I
would even like to die for grief at having once sinned. If it is Thy wish that
I should hope for pardon from Thee, I do truly hope for it, through the merits
of Thy blood. If Thou desirest that I should love Thee above all things, I will
leave all; I will renounce all the joys and the riches which the world can give
me; and I will love Thee beyond all other things, O ray most adorable Saviour.
If Thou willest that I should demand graces of Thee, I ask for these two that
Thou wilt never let me offend Thee more, and that Thou wilt make me to love
Thee, and then do with me whatsoever Thou wilt.
THIRD POINT
Therefore, is it not folly for the short and paltry pleasures of this brief
life to incur the risk of dying a miserable death? and with that death to begin
a wretched eternity? Oh, of how much importance is that last moment, that last
gasp, that last closing of the scene! It is an eternity either of every joy, or
of every pain that is at stake a life for ever happy or for ever miserable. Let
us think that Jesus Christ was willing to die a bitter and cruel death, in
order to obtain for us a peaceful and happy death. For this end He calls us so
many tunes; He gives us so many lights; He admonishes us with so many threats,
that we may be induced to spend that last moment in the grace of God.
Even the Pagan Antisthenes, when he was asked what was the greatest blessing in
this world, answered, "A happy death." And what ought a Christian to
say, who knows by faith, that from the moment of death, eternity begins; so
that in that moment he lays hold of one of the two wheels which draws with it,
either eternal happiness or eternal suffering? If there were two tickets in a
lottery, upon which hell might be written on one, and heaven on the other, with
what care would you not try to draw out that one, upon which Paradise was
written? O God, how must those unhappy wretches tremble who are condemned to
throw the die upon which their life or death depends! What fear will be yours
when you will find yourself near to that last moment when you will say,
"Upon this moment, which is drawing so near, depends my eternal life or
death! Now, it is to be decided whether I shall be for ever blessed or for ever
miserable." St. Bernardine, of Sienna, tells of a certain prince who when
dying, in great terror, exclaimed, "I have many lands and palaces in this
world; but if I should die during this night, I know not what lodging will be
mine."
My brother, if thou believest that thou hast to die, and that there is an
eternity, and that once only thou canst die, so that if thou once makest a
mistake, the mistake will be for ever without any hope of remedy why is it that
thou dost not begin, from this moment in which you read these words, to do all
that liest in thy power to secure for thyself a happy death? St. Andrew
Avellino said tremblingly, "Who knows what will be my lot in the life to
come? Whether I shall be saved or condemned to eternal death?" St. Louis
Bertrand also trembled so much that he was unable to take rest because of this
thought which would suggest itself to him, "Who knows whether thou wilt be
lost?" And thou, who has committed so many sins, dost thou not tremble? Be
quick and make amends in time; resolve to give thyself indeed to God, and
begin, at least from this time, a life the remembrance of which may not grieve,
but may fill thee with joy at the hour of death. Give thyself to prayer,
frequent the Sacraments, quit dangerous occasions, and if necessary, leave even
the world, so that thou mayest secure to thyself an eternal salvation; and
understand, that to secure this eternal life no precaution can be too great.
Affections and Prayers
O my dear Saviour, how much am I not indebted to Thee! How couldst Thou bestow
so many favours upon one so ungrateful; upon such a traitor as I have been to
Thee? Thou hast created me, and in creating me Thou didst foresee all the
offences that I should commit against Thee. Thou didst redeem me by dying for
me, and even then Thou didst know of all the ingratitude I should show towards
Thee. When I was placed in this world, I turned away from Thee, and thus was I
dead indeed in sin, until Thou with Thy grace didst restore me to life. I was
blind, and Thou didst enlighten me. I had lost Thee, and Thou didst enable me
to find Thee. I was Thy enemy, and Thou didst make me Thy friend. O God of
mercy, grant me to feel how deeply I am indebted to Thee, and make me mourn
over my offences against Thee. Avenge Thyself upon me by making me very sorry
for my sins; but do not punish me by depriving me of Thy grace and of Thy love.
O Eternal Father, I detest and abhor more than any other evil, the offences I
have committed against Thee. Have mercy upon me, for the love of Jesus Christ.
Behold Thy Son upon the Cross. "His Blood be upon me." May that
Divine Blood flow down and wash my soul. O King of my heart, "Thy kingdom
come." I am resolved to drive away every affection that is not felt for
Thee. I love Thee more than anything; come and reign alone in my soul. Let me
love Thee, and let me love Thee only. I would please Thee as much as it is
possible for me to do; and I would give Thee entire satisfaction during the
life that remains to me. Bless, O my Father, this my desire, and give me grace
ever to be one with Thee. I consecrate all my affections to Thee, and from this
day forward I would be Thine alone, Who art my Treasure, my Peace, my Hope, my
Love, my All; and all this I hope for through the merits of Thy dear Son.
Considerations
by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
from the book, 'Preparation for Death'
CONSIDERATION IV
The Certainty of Death
It is appointed unto men once to die." Heb. ix. 27.
FIRST POINT
The sentence of death is written against all men; thou art man, thou hast to
die. St. Augustine observes that "our good things and our evil things are
uncertain death alone is certain." It is uncertain, whether that new-born
infant will be poor or rich, whether it will have good or bad health, whether
it will die young or old but it is quite certain that it will have to die.
Every noble, every monarch, will be cut off by death. And when death arrives,
there is no strength able to resist it. Fire may be resisted, water may be
resisted, the sword may be resisted, the power of princes may be resisted, but
when death comes there is no power able to resist that. Belluacensis relates
that a certain king of France whose last moment was fast approaching,
exclaimed, "Behold that I, with all my power, am unable to make death wait
one more hour for me!" When the end of life is indeed come, not even for
one moment can it be deferred. "Thou hast appointed his bounds, that he
cannot pass." (Job xiv. 5.)
Should you therefore live, dear reader, for all the years that you hope to,
still one day must come, and one hour of that day, which will be the last for
you. For me who am now writing, and for you who will read this little book,
there is a day, and there is a moment decreed, in which I shall no longer
write, neither will you read." What man is he that liveth and shall not
see death?" (Ps. cxxxix. 47.) The sentence is passed. There has never been
a man so foolish as to flatter himself he will not have to die. That which
happened to your ancestors will also happen to you. Of all those, who, at the
beginning of the last century were living in your country, behold not one of
them remains. Even these princes, the kings of the world, have passed away;
nothing remains of them but a marble mausoleum with a grand inscription, which
now serves to warn us that a little dust confined within the tomb is all that
remains of the grand ones of this world. St. Bernard asks, "Tell me where
are the lovers of the world?" and he replies, "Nothing remains of
them save ashes and worms." Therefore, we must endeavour to obtain, not
that happiness which has an end, but that which is eternal, for our souls are
eternal; for of what use would it be to be happy, (even were it possible for
true happiness to be felt by that soul which is at enmity with God) I repeat,
to be happy in this life, if in the life to come you must be unhappy for all
eternity? You have built that house to your satisfaction, but you must reflect
and think, that soon you will have to leave it, to remain corrupting in a tomb.
You have obtained that dignity which renders you superior to others; but death
will soon come, and will make you lower than the lowest peasant on the earth.
Affections and Prayers
Alas, wretched one that I am, who for so many years have only offended Thee, O
God of my soul. Alas, that those years have already passed away, and perchance
death is drawing nigh, and I feel my conscience troubled and filled with
remorse. Oh, that I had ever served Thee my Lord! How foolish have I not been, to
have lived so many years, and instead of trying to fit myself for the other
world, I have laden myself with debts to the Divine Justice. My dear Redeemer,
give me light and strength now to make my reckoning sure with Thee. Death for
me, perhaps, now stands nigh at hand. I should like to prepare myself for that
great moment in which my everlasting happiness, or unhappiness depends. I thank
Thee for having waited so long for me; and since Thou dost give me time to
atone for what I have done amiss, look upon me, O my God, and tell me what I
must do for Thee. Dost Thou wish me to grieve over the offences. I have
committed against Thee? I do grieve over them they do displease me very much
indeed. Dost Thou wish me to spend the years and days which may remain to me,
in loving Thee? Yes; then I will do so. O God, during the years that are past,
many times have I desired to do this, but my desires have afterwards proved
failures. No, my Jesus, I will no longer be ungrateful for the many favours
Thou hast bestowed upon me. If now, at least, I do not try to love Thee, how
shall I be able when the hour of death approaches to hope for pardon in
Paradise? Behold now I do really firmly resolve to place myself in Thy service.
But Thou must give me strength, Thou must not abandon me. But Thou didst not
abandon me when I offended Thee, therefore do I indeed greatly hope for Thy
gracious assistance, now that I have resolved to leave all, in order to please
Thee. Accept me, therefore, and love me, O God, Thou who art worthy of infinite
love. Accept the traitor, who being now repentant, embraces Thy feet, and loves
Thee, and asks Thee for mercy. I love Thee, O my Jesus, I love Thee with all my
heart, I love Thee much more than I love myself. Behold I am Thine alone.
Dispose of me, and all that is mine, as ft may please Thee; give me
perseverance in obeying Thee; give me Thy love, and then do with me as Thou
wilt.
SECOND POINT
"It is appointed." It is, therefore, quite certain that we are all
condemned to die. St. Cyprian says that we are all born with the halter round
our neck, and we approach nearer to death at every step we take. My brother, as
your name has one day been entered in the register of baptism, so it will one
day be entered in the register of deaths. As you now speak of your forefathers,
even so will your descendants speak of you. As you have often heard the
death-bell toll for others, even so will others hear it toll for you.
But what would you say, if you were to see a condemned man going to the
scaffold jesting, laughing, looking about him, thinking only of plays,
festivities, and amusements? And are not you advancing on the road to death?
And of what are you thinking ? Look into that grave, and see your friends and
your relations upon whom justice has already been executed. What fear do those
feel who are condemned to die, when they behold their companions suspended on
the gallows, and dead! Behold, then, those corpses, each one of which repeats
to you, "Yesterday for me, and to-day for thee." (Ecclus. xxxviii. 23.)
The portraits of those of your friends even, say the same to you, as do their
memoranda-books, their houses, their beds, and even the clothes they have left
behind them.
What greater folly, therefore, can there be than to know we must die, and that after
death an eternity of joy or an eternity of pain awaits us; to know that upon
that moment our eternal happiness or our eternal unhappiness depends, and yet
not to care to make our reckoning sure, and to use all the means we can, to
make our death a happy one. We pity all these who die suddenly, and who are not
prepared for death; and why, therefore, do we not strive to be ever prepared to
die, because the same sudden death may happen to us? But sooner or later,
either with warning or without it whether we think it or whether we do not
think it, we shall have to die; and at every hour, at every moment, we approach
nearer to our gallows even to that last illness, which will be the cause of our
death.
At every age the houses, the streets, and the cities, are again inhabited by
fresh people, and the old inhabitants are borne to the grave their last
resting-place. As the days of life are for ever finished for these, so will the
time come in which neither I nor you, nor any of those who are now living, will
be any more living upon this earth. Our "memorial is perished with
us." (Ps. ix. 6.) We shall all then be living in eternity, which will be
for us either an eternity of endless joy, or an eternity of endless woe. There
is no middle way; this is certain, and is an article of faith that either one
lot or the other will be ours.
Affections and Prayers
My beloved Redeemer, I should not have the courage thus to appear before Thee,
did I not behold Thee hanging upon that Cross, wounded, derided, and dead for
me. My ingratitude has been great, but Thy mercy has been still greater. My
sins have been very great, but Thy merits are greater. Thy wounds, Thy blood,
Thy death, are my hope. I deserved hell from the moment I committed my first
sin; how many times afterwards have I not again offended Thee; and not only
hast Thou preserved my life, but with so much pity and so much love, Thou hast
offered me pardon and peace; how, therefore, can I fear being driven from Thee,
now that I love Thee, and now that I have no other desire than Thy blessed
favour. Yes, I love Thee with all my heart, my dearest Lord, and I desire
nothing else than to love Thee. I love Thee, and am very sorry for having
scorned Thee, not so much because I have rendered myself worthy of hell, as for
having offended Thee, my God. Who hast loved me so much. Take me to Thy bosom,
O my Jesus, and add mercy to mercy. Let me never more be ungrateful to Thee,
and change my heart entirely. Grant that my heart, which at one time esteemed
Thy love of no account, and which has so often exchanged it for the miserable
gratifications of this world, may be wholly Thine; and grant that it may burn
in continual flames of love for Thee. I hope to come to Paradise, there to love
Thee for ever; I cannot hope for a place there, among the innocent; my place
will be amongst the penitent; but amidst those I will love Thee more than the
innocent. For the glory of Thy name, let a sinner be seen by heaven to burn
with a great love for Thee a sinner who has so often offended Thee. I resolve,
from this day forward, to be Thine only, and to think of nothing but of loving
Thee. Assist me with Thy light and with Thy grace, that strength may be given
to me to fulfil this my desire, which Thou Thyself hast given me through Thy
love.
THIRD POINT
Death is certain. But, O God, many Christians already know this; they believe
it, they see it; how then can they live so forgetful of death as if they would
never. have to die? If after this life there were neither a heaven nor a hell,
could they think less of it than they do now? And it is on this account that
they lead such wicked lives. My brother, if you wish to lead a proper life,
endeavour to live during the days which may remain to thee, keeping death ever
in view. "O death, thy judgment is good." (Ecclus. xli. 3.) Oh how
well does he who judges of things and regulates his actions act; who judges and
regulates them, with death ever in view. The memory of death makes us lose the
affection which we feel for things that are earthly. "Let the end of this
life be thought upon, and there will be nothing in this world to be loved,"
observes St. Lawrence Justinian. "For all that is in the world: the lust
of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life." (i St.
John ii. 16.) All the pleasures of the world may be reduced to the pleasures of
sense, the pleasures of riches and honours; but he who thinks that within a
short time he will be reduced to ashes, and that he will be food for worms
under the earth, despises all the pleasures the world can give him.
And the saints, indeed, who have kept death ever in view, have despised all the
goods of this world. To keep death ever in view, St. Charles Borromeo kept a
skull upon a little table, so that he might continually contemplate it.
Cardinal Baronius had these words inscribed upon his ring: "Remember
death!" The Venerable Father Juvenal Ancina, Bishop of Saluzzo, had this
motto written on a skull, "What thou art I was once; what I am thou wilt
be." Another saint, a hermit, being asked when dying why he was so
rejoiced, answered, "I have kept death ever before my eyes, and therefore,
now that it is come, I see nothing new in it."
What folly would it not be for a traveller, if when travelling, he were only to
think of making himself great in that country through which he only has to
pass, without minding the being reduced to live miserably in that country where
he will have to spend his whole life? And is he not foolish, who seeks his
happiness in this world, where he has to remain but a few days, and who by so
doing, runs the risk of being unhappy in the world to come, where he will have
to remain for ever?
He who possesses anything that is borrowed does not place his affections on it,
knowing, as he does, that within a short time he will have to restore it. All
the goods of this world are but given to us as a loan; it is indeed foolish to
place our affections on them, being obliged within so short a time to leave
them. Death will come and deprive us of all. All the gains and the riches of
this world will end in a dying gasp, a funeral, and a descent into the grave.
The house which you have built, within a short time you will have to give up to
some one else. The tomb will be the place where your body will have to dwell
until the day of judgment, and from the tomb your body will have to pass either
to heaven or to hell, whither your soul will have gone before.
Affections and Prayers
Therefore, will all be finished for me in death? I shall find nothing else, O
my God, than that little which I have done through my love for Thee. And what
am I waiting for? Am I waiting until death shall come and find me miserable and
defiled with sin as I am now? If I were now to die, I should die restlessly,
and should be very dissatisfied with my past life. No, my Jesus, I do not wish
to die so dissatisfied. I thank Thee that Thou hast given me time to mourn over
my sins, and to love Thee. I will begin from this moment. But, above all
things, I grieve for having offended Thee, O my Sovereign Good; but I love Thee
more than anything, more than my life itself. I yield myself entirely to Thee;
my Jesus, from this hour I attach myself wholly to Thee. I would press Thee to
my heart; and from this moment I deliver my soul into Thy keeping. "Into
Thy hands I commend my spirit." I will not wait to give my soul into Thy
keeping until the time shall come when it shall be commanded to leave this
world with that summons, "Go forth, Christian soul." I will not wait
until that moment arrives to beg Thee to save me. "O Jesus, be a Jesus to
me." Save me now, O my Saviour, by giving me Thy pardon, and by giving me
the grace of Thy holy love. If this consideration which I have this day read
should be the last warning which Thou shouldst give me, and the last mercy thou
shouldst show me, then stretch forth Thy hand and take from me all my
indifference; give me fervour; grant that I may obey Thee with great love in
all that Thou mayst require of me. Eternal Father, for the love of Jesus Christ
give me holy perseverance, and the grace to love Thee, and to love Thee, and
Thee only, during the life that may yet remain to me.
Considerations
by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
from the book, 'Preparation for Death'
CONSIDERATION V
The Uncertainty of the Hour of
Death
"Be ye therefore ready also : for the Son of man cometh at an hour when
ye think not." St. Luke xii. 40.
FIRST POINT
It is certain that we must all die, but it is uncertain when. The author, who
styles himself Idiota, observes, "Nothing is more certain than death, but
nothing is more uncertain than the hour of death."
My brother, already is the year, the month, the day, the hour, and even the
moment fixed, in which both you and I will have to leave this earth, and to
enter upon eternity; but this time is not known by us. Therefore, that we may
ever be prepared, the Apostle tells us that death will come "as a thief in
the night." (i Thess. v. 2.) Our Blessed Lord tells us to be watchful, for
when least we" expect it, He will come to judge us. (St. Luke xii. 40.)
St. Gregory observes, that God, for our good, keeps the hour of bur death
hidden from us, so that we may ever be found prepared for death. Since,
therefore, at any time, and in any place, death may deprive us of life, St.
Bernard remarks, that at every time, and in every place, we must stand awaiting
it, if we would die a happy death and be saved.
Every one knows that he or she must die, but the mistake that so many make, is
to imagine that death is so far off, that they, as it were, lose sight of it.
Even old men, who are most infirm, and people who are very sickly, flatter
themselves that they have at least three or four years more to live. But, on
the contrary, I say, how many have we not known during our lifetime, who have
died suddenly; some sitting, some walking, and some lying upon their beds? And
certainly none of those who have died thus suddenly, ever thought to die in
that way, or upon that day upon which they died. And, moreover, I say how many
who have this year passed on to another life, and who have died from some
slight illness, never for once imagined that then: days were this year to come to
an end. Few indeed are the deaths which do not happen unexpectedly. Therefore,
dear Christian brother, when the devil tempts you to sin, saying, that
to-morrow, after the sin has been committed, you will go to confession; answer
him in this manner, "And how do I not know that to-day may not be the last
of my days upon earth?" If that hour or that moment in which I sinned
against God were to be the last for me, so that there would be no time to
implore forgiveness for it, what would become of me in eternity? To how many
poor sinners has it not happened, that in the same moment in which they have
been yielding to some wicked passion, death has overtaken them suddenly, and
they have been cast into hell? "As the fishes that are taken in an evil
net, so are the sons of men snared in an evil time." (Eccles. ix. 12.) The
"evil time" is precisely that, in which the sinner actually offends
God. The devil tells you that it will not happen in this way with you; but you
ought to say, if it should happen, thus what will become of me for all
eternity?
Affections and Prayers
Dear Lord, the place where I ought now to be, is not here where I now am but in
hell, where I have deserved to be so many times, because of my many
transgressions. "Hell is my house." But St. Peter tells us, that
"the Lord. . . is longsuffering to us-ward, hot willing that any should
perish, but that all should come to repentance." (i St. Pet. iii. 9.)
Therefore it is, that Thou hast had so much patience with me, and hast waited
so long for.me, because Thou didst not wish me to be lost, but Thou didst wish
me to come to repentance. Yes, my God, I come to Thee, I cast myself at Thy
feet, I crave for mercy. "Have mercy upon me, O God, after Thy great
goodness." O Lord, great and extraordinary mercy is needed for me, because
I have offended Thee, although Thou hast blessed me with Thy light. Many are
the sinners who have offended Thee but they have not had the light which Thou
hast graciously given to me. And yet for all that, still Thou dost command me
to repent of my sins, and I hope for pardon from Thee. Yes, my dear Redeemer, I
repent with all my heart for having offended Thee, and I look for pardon
through the merits of Thy Passion. Thou, my Jesus, being innocent, was willing
to die like a guilty one upon the cross, and to shed all Thy Blood to wash away
my sins. "O Blood of the Innocent, wash away the sins of the
penitent." O Eternal Father, pardon me, for the love of Jesus Christ,
listen to the prayers that He makes for me, now that He is interceding for me,
and making Himself my Advocate. But it is not sufficient for me to be pardoned.
O God, Thou who art worthy of infinite love, I want the grace to love Thee. I
do love Thee, O my Sovereign Good, and I offer Thee from henceforth my soul, my
body, my will, and my liberty. From this time I will avoid, not only grave
offences, but also slight ones. I will fly from all dangerous occasions.
"Lead us not into temptation." Deliver me, for the love of Jesus
Christ, from these occasions in which I might chance to offend Thee. "But
deliver us from evil." Deliver me from sin, and then punish me as Thou
wilt. I accept all the infirmities, griefs, and losses which it may please Thee
to send me, there is nothing that I mind, if I do not lose Thy grace, and Thy
love. Thou dost promise to give me whatsoever I ask, "Ask and it shall be
given you." I ask Thee for these two graces, holy perseverance, and the
grace to love Thee.
SECOND POINT
The Lord does not wish us to be lost, therefore He never ceases to warn us to
change our habit of life, by threatening to punish us. "If a man will not
turn, He will whet His sword," (Ps. vii. 13.) "Behold," He says
in another place, "how many, because they would not leave off sinning when
they were least expecting it, and were living in peace, thinking to live for
many long years, have been surprised by death, which has suddenly come upon
them." "For when they shall say peace and safety, then sudden
destruction cometh upon them." (i Thess. v. 3.) Likewise He says:
"Except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish." (St. Luke xiii. 3.)
Why, therefore, does He give us so many warnings before He sends the punishment
if He does not wish that we should amend our lives, and so avoid dying an
unhappy death. St. Augustine well observes that he who says to thee "Take
care," wishes thee no ill.
It is therefore necessary to prepare our account before the day of reckoning
may arrive. My Christian brother, if before this night arrives you should die,
and your eternal welfare should be decided, what do you think? Would your
reckoning be right; or would you not indeed be rather willing to give anything
to obtain from God one year, one month, or at least one day more? And
wherefore, now that God does give you this time, do you not seek to make your conscience
free from everything? Is it because you cannot think this day can be the last
for you? "Delay not to be converted to the Lord, and defer it not from day
to day. For His wrath shall come on a sudden, and in the time of vengeance He
will destroy thee." (Ecclus. v. 8, 9.) If you wish to be saved, my
brother, sin must be left; therefore, as a day will come when you must leave
it, why do you not leave it now? inquires St. Augustine. Perhaps you are
expecting death; but for those who are obstinate, death is not the time for
pardon, but for vengeance. "In the time of vengeance He will destroy
thee." (Ecclus. v. 9.)
When some one owes you a large sum of money, you immediately take the
precaution to provide yourself with a written security, saying to yourself,
"Who knows what may happen?" And why do you not use the same
precaution concerning your immortal soul, which is of much more importance than
the large sum of money? Why do you not say of your soul, "Who knows what
may happen?" If you were to lose that money, you would not lose
everything; and even if in losing it you should lose all your patrimony, still
you would have the hope of regaining it. But if in death you should lose your
soul, then indeed would you lose all, and there would be no hope of ever again
rescuing it. You are so diligent in keeping an account of your money, lest by
chance any should be lost if a sudden death were to befall you; and if death
should come upon you unawares, while you are at enmity with God, what would
become of your soul for all eternity?
Affections and Prayers
All, my Redeemer, Thou hast shed all Thy Blood. Thou hast given Thy life to
save my soul, and I have so often lost it, hoping in Thy mercy; and in this way
have I so often made use of Thy great goodness, for what? to offend Thee more.
For this, I did deserve that Thou shouldst suddenly deprive me of life, and
then send me to everlasting punishment. I have as it were been striving with
Thee; but Thou hast striven, by showing mercy towards me, and I by offending
Thee; Thou by seeking me, and I by flying from Thee; Thou by giving me time to
implore pardon for all the offences committed against Thee, and I by using that
time to add offence to offence. Gracious Lord, make me feel the great wrong I
have done against Thee, and make me feel that it is my greatest duty to love
Thee. Ah, my Jesus, how couldst Thou love me so much, Thou who didst seek me so
many times when I strove to drive Thee from me? How couldst Thou show so many
favours to one who has so often given Thee offence? From all this I feel how
desirous Thou art for me not to be lost. I repent with all my heart for having
offended Thee, O God of infinite goodness. Ah, receive this ungrateful sheep
who returns repentant to Thy feet; receive it, and bind it to Thy shoulders, so
that it may never more stray from Thee. No, I will never more fly from Thee. I
would love Thee, I would be Thine, and if only I am Thine I am content with
every pain, for what greater pain can I feel, than to live without Thy grace,
separated from Thee,Who art my God, Who hast created me, and my God Who has
died for me? Ah, hateful sins, what have you done ? You have made me displease
my dear Saviour, Who hast loved me so much. Ah, my Jesus, as Thou hast died for
me, even so ought I to die for Thee. Thou didst die for love of me, and I ought
to die of grief for having so much displeased Thee.
I accept death when and in what manner it may please Thee to send it to me but
until now I have not loved Thee, or I have not loved Thee enough; it is not
thus that I would die. Oh grant me a little more time, so that I may indeed
love Thee before I die. Therefore, change my heart, wound it, inflame it with
Thy holy love. Grant this, through that exceeding love which made Thee die for
me. I love Thee with all my soul, and I am indeed desirous to love Thee. Never
let me lose Thee more. Give me holy perseverance, and give me Thy most holy
love.
THIRD POINT
"Be ye ready." The Lord does not say that we must prepare ourselves
when death comes upon us, but that death, when it comes, must find us prepared.
When death comes, as it will do, in as it were a great tempest and confusion,
it will be almost impossible to give ease to a troubled conscience. Even thus
does reason argue. But God warns us by saying that He will not then come to
give pardon, but to avenge the scorn which the wicked have shown concerning His
favours. "Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, saith the Lord." (Rom.
xii. 19.)
St. Augustine observes that this will be a just punishment for that one who,
when able, has not wished to be saved, and who, when willing to be saved, will
not be able. But some will say, "Perhaps even then it will be possible for
me to be converted and live." But would you throw yourself into a well,
saying, Perhaps even though I throw myself in, I may live and not die? O God!
what a thing is this, that sin should so darken the mind as to make it lose
even reason. When men speak of the body, they speak like wise men; but when
they speak of the soul, they speak like fools.
My brother, perhaps this point that you are now reading may be the last warning
that God may send you. Let us hasten to prepare for death, so that it may not
overtake us being unprepared. St. Augustine says that God keeps the last day of
our lives secret from us, so that at any, and every day, we may be prepared to
die. St. Paul teaches us that it is not only necessary to work out our
salvation with fear, but even with trembling. "Work out your own salvation
with fear and trembling." (Phil. ii. 12.) St. Antoninus tells us of a
certain king of Sicily who, in order to make one of his subjects understand the
fear in which he occupied the throne, made him sit at table with a sword
suspended by a slender thread over his head, so that being thus situated, he could
hardly eat any food. We are all standing in the same danger, for at any moment
the sword of death may fall upon us, upon which our eternal salvation depends.
It is indeed a question of eternity. "If the tree fall toward the south or
toward the north, in the place where the tree falleth there it shall be."
(Eccles. xi. 3.) If when death comes, it should find us in the grace of God,
Oh, what joy will it be for the soul then to exclaim, "I have secured all
things, never again can I lose God; I shall be happy for ever." But, on
the contrary, if when death comes it should find the soul in a state of sin,
with what despair will it then cry out, "Thus have I sinned, and my sin
can never be reclaimed for all eternity." Oh, wherefore did I err? and my
sin will never be pardoned throughout all eternity! This fear made the
venerable Father Avila, when the announcement was brought to him that he was
dying, cry out and say, "Oh that I had a little more time to prepare
myself for death!" This fear also made the Abbot Agathe exclaim, although
he died after many years of repentance, "What will become of me; for who
can understand the judgments of God?" St. Arsenius also trembled when the
hour of death arrived, and being asked why he was in such fear, answered,
"This fear is not new to me, I have felt it all my life." Especially
did holy Job tremble, saying, "What then shall I do when God riseth up?
and when He visiteth, what shall I answer Him?" (Job xxxi. 14.)
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God, there is no one who has ever loved me as Thou hast loved me? and
yet there is no one whom I have ever displeased more than I have displeased
Thee. My only hope is in Thy Blood, O my Jesus. Eternal Father, look not upon
my sins, but look upon the blessed wounds of Jesus Christ; look upon thy
well-beloved Son, Who is grieving for me, and beseeching Thee to pardon me. I
am very sorry, O my Creator, for having displeased Thee; it grieves me more
than any other evil that I have done. Thou didst create me to love Thee, and I
have been living as if Thou hadst created me to offend Thee. For the love of
Jesus Christ pardon me, and give me grace to love Thee. At one time I resisted
Thy will; now I will no longer resist it; I will do all that Thou dost command
me. Thou dost wish me to detest all the offences which I have committed against
Thee. I do indeed detest them with all my heart. Thou dost command me to
resolve never more to offend Thee; then I do indeed resolve to lose my life
rather than to lose Thy grace. Thou dost wish me to love Thee with my whole
heart, then indeed I will love Thee with all my heart, and will love none other
than Thee; and Thou shalt be, from this day forth, my only loved one, my only
love. Thou dost command me to have holy perseverance, but it is from Thee alone
that I can hope to obtain it. For the love of Jesus Christ, let me ever be
faithful to Thee; and that I may always say to Thee with St. Bonaventure,
"My beloved is one, my love is one." No, I do not want my life to be
spent any longer in giving Thee even the slightest offence. I would spend it
only in weeping over the displeasure I have given Thee, and in loving Thee.
CONSIDERATION VI
The Death of the Sinner
"Destruction cometh; and they shall seek peace, and there shall be
none. Mischief shall come upon mischief." Ezek. vii. 25, 26.
FIRST POINT
It is now that sinners try, as far as they can, to drive away the memory and
the thought of death, and thus to find peace, although they never will do so,
by leading a life of sin; but when in the agonies of death, they must enter
into eternity when "destruction cometh and they shall seek peace, and
there shall be none;" then they will try to fly from the stings of their
troubled consciences; they will seek peace, but what peace can a soul find which
is laden with sin, which bites it like so many vipers? What peace, knowing that
in so short a time it will have to appear before Jesus Christ the Judge, whose
law and friendship, until that moment, it has esteemed of so little worth?
"Mischief shall come upon mischief." The intelligence that the sinner
has just received, that he is dying, the thought that he must bid farewell to
everything in this world, the stings of a troubled conscience, the time that is
for ever lost, the time that he is now in want of, the severity of the Divine
Judge, the miserable eternity which awaits all sinners the thought of all these
things will come upon him in terrible confusion, which will greatly trouble his
mind and increase his apprehensions, and thus confused, and being filled with
fear, the soul of the dying man will pass into the other life. Abraham, to whom
great praise is due, hoped in God against all human hope, believing in the
Divine promise, "who against hope believed in hope." But sinners,
with great demerit, and who are the cause of their own ruin, falsely hope, not
only against hope, but even against faith, whilst they pay no attention
whatever to the warning which God gives to those who are obstinate. They dread
an unhappy death, but they have no fear in leading a wicked life. But who is
able to assure them, that their death will not suddenly be caused by a
thunderbolt, by an apoplectic fit, or by the bursting of a blood vessel? And
even should they have time, when they are dying, to be converted, who can
assure them, that their conversion will then be a true one? St. Augustine had
to strive against his evil habits for twelve years, in order to overcome them.
How then will one, who is dying, who has ever had a conscience stained with
sin, who will be tormented with pain, with dreadful feelings in the head, and
who will be in the confusion of death, how will he, then, I repeat, be possibly
able to be truly converted? I say truly, because at that time the saying and
promising will be of no use, it will be necessary to say and to promise from
the depth of the heart. O God, into what terror will not the miserable sufferer
be thrown, whose conscience, when remorseful, has been blighted, when he finds
himself oppressed by his sins, and by the fears of the coming judgment, by the
thought of hell and of eternity? Into what dreadful confusion will not these
thoughts throw him, when he finds that his memory is failing him, his mind
becoming darkened, and his body overcome with the pains of death which is
already fast approaching ? He will confess, he will promise, he will weep, he
will cry to God for mercy, but without knowing what he is doing; and in that
tempest of agitation, of remorse, of anguish, and of fear, his soul will pass
into the other world." The people shall be troubled at midnight and pass
away." (Job xxxiv. 20.) It is well said by an author, that the prayers,
the tears, and the promises of a dying sinner, are like the tears and promises
of a man who finds himself assailed by his enemy, who puts a dagger to his throat
to take away his life. He who lies down on his bed, and whose soul passes from
it to eternity, is indeed a wretched man, if he lies down in the great
displeasure of Almighty God.
Affections and Prayers
The wounds of Jesus are my only hope. I should despair of pardon for my sins,
did I not look upon you, ye fountains of pity and of mercy, through which my
God has shed all His Blood to wash my soul from the many sins which it has
committed. I adore you, O ye holy wounds, and in you confide. I detest and abhor
those unworthy pleasures through which I have displeased my dear Redeemer, and
through which I have lost His holy friendship. Looking then upon you, my hopes
are raised, and therefore I turn my affections towards you. My beloved Jesus,
it is only right that all men should love Thee, and that they should love Thee
with their whole heart. But I have so often offended Thee, and counted Thy holy
love of no moment; and yet. notwithstanding all my shortcomings, Thou hast
borne with me so long, and hast so often offered me pardon. Ah, my Saviour,
never more let me offend Thee, and by so doing lose my soul for ever. O God!
what dreadful pain it would give me to see Thy dear Blood, and to remember Thy
many mercies which Thou hast shown to me, if I should ever be cast into
everlasting punishment. I love Thee now, and I would love Thee for ever. Give
me holy perseverance. Take away from my heart every love that is not Thine, and
establish in me a real desire and resolution to love Thee alone. Thou Who art
my Sovereign Good, may I do this from henceforth and for ever.
SECOND POINT
The agonies of the dying sinner will not be one agony only, but they will be
many. It will be one agony to be tormented by the devil. When the hour of death
comes, that dreadful enemy uses all his strength to ruin that soul which is on
the point of launching into eternity. The devil knows that at that hour, there
is but little time to gain that soul, and that if it is lost to him then, it
will be lost for ever. "The devil is come down unto you, having great
wrath, because he knoweth that he hath but a short time." (Rev. xii. 12.)
There will not only be one devil, but many devils, who will surround the dying
man, who will do all that lies in their power to gain his soul. "Their houses
shall be full of doleful creatures." (Isa. xiii. 21.) One will say,
"Fear not, thou wilt soon be well." Another will say, "How is it
that thou, who for so many years hast been deaf to the voice of God, canst
expect Him now to show thee mercy?" And another, "How canst thou now
remedy those evils that are done, and the reputations thou hast ruined?"
And another, "Dost thou not see that thy confessions have been of no
avail, without true grief; without any intention to do better for the future?
How then canst thou now repair the evil which is done?" Besides all this,
the dying man will behold himself surrounded by his sins: "Evil shall hunt
the wicked person to overthrow him." (Ps. cxl. ii.) St. Bernard observes
that these sins, like so many watchful guards, shall hold him in their grasp,
and shall say to him, "We are thy works; we will not leave thee; we will
go with thy soul to the other world, and with it present ourselves to the
Eternal Judge." Then the dying man will want to rid himself of these enemies;
but to get rid of them it would be necessary to hate them; it would be
necessary for his heart to become converted to God. Whereas his mind is
darkened, and his heart is hardened. "hard heart shall fear evil at the
last; and he that loveth danger shall perish in it." (Ecclus. iii. 27.)
St. Bernard says, that heart which has been so obstinate in sin during life,
will use every means to free itself when dying from this state of condemnation,
but will be unable to do so; and being oppressed with its own wickedness, will
pass from life in this state. Until the hour of death arrived, the sinner
always loved sin; he has also loved the danger of his own damnation; very
justly therefore will the Lord allow him to perish in that peril in which he
has loved to live until the time of his death. St. Augustine believes, that
"he who is left by sin before he himself leaves it, at the hour of death
will hardly dislike it as much as he ought, because whatever he does at that
time will be done through necessity."
Miserable indeed is that sinner who is so hardened that he resists the voice of
God when He calls him! "His heart is as firm as a stone; yea, as hard as a
piece of the nether millstone." (Job xli. 24.) Instead of yielding and
being softened by the voice of God, he becomes more hardened; even as the anvil
is hardened by the strokes of the hammer. As a punishment for all this, he will
find himself in the same obstinate frame of mind at the hour of death, although
he may be on the point of passing into eternity. "A hard heart shall fear
evil at the last." Sinners, saith the Lord, "have turned their back
unto me, and not their face: but in the time of their trouble they will say,
Arise, and save us. But where are thy gods that thou hast made thee? let them
arise, if they can save thee." (Jer. ii. 27, 28.) The miserable sinners
when dying will fly unto God, and God will say to them, "Now you can come
to me. Call upon creatures to help you, for they have been your gods."
Even thus will the Lord answer those who at that time seek Him, because they
will not seek Him with any sincere wish to become converted. St. Jerome has
said, that he fully believes, and has learnt from experience, that he who has
led a wicked life until the hour of death, will never be happy when the hour of
death arrives.
Affections and Prayers
My dear Saviour, help me, and do not abandon me, for I see my soul all wounded
with my sins; my passions do violence to me, and my evil habits oppress me. I
throw myself at Thy feet; have mercy upon me, and deliver me from all my evil
passions. "In Thee, O Lord, have I put my trust : let me never be put to
confusion." (Ps. Ixxi. i.) Do not permit a soul that trusts in Thee to be
lost. I repent of having offended Thee, O God of Infinite Goodness; I have done
evil, and I confess it. I wish to amend, at any price. But unless Thou dost
assist me with Thy grace, I am lost. Receive, O my Jesus, this rebellious one,
who has displeased Thee so much. Remember that Thou didst spend Thy Blood and
Thy Life for me. Through the merits, therefore, of Thy Passion and of Thy
Death, receive me into Thy arms, and give me holy perseverance. I was almost
lost, but Thou didst call me; behold, I will no longer resist; I consecrate
myself to Thee; bind me to Thy love, and never more allow me to lose myself by
again losing Thy grace. Do not, my Jesus, allow it.
THIRD POINT
It is a marvellous thing that God does nothing but threaten sinners with an
unhappy death: "Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer."
(Prov. i. 28.) "Will God hear his cry when trouble cometh upon him?"
(Job xxvii. 9.) "I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock."
(Prov. i. 26.) God laughs when He will not show mercy. "To Me belongeth
vengeance and recompense; their foot shall slide in due time." (Deut.
xxxii. 35.) In many other places God threatens the same, and yet sinners live
in peace, and are as secure, as if God had certainly promised to give them
pardon when dying, and after death, to give them Paradise. It is quite true
that, in whatever hour the sinner is converted, God has promised to pardon him;
but He has not said that the sinner shall be converted in death. On the
contrary, He has often declared that he who lives in sin shall die in sin:
"Ye. . . shall die in your sins." (St. John viii. 21.) He has said in
another place that he who seeks Him in death shall not find Him. "Ye shall
seek me, and shall not find me." (St. John vii. 34.) Therefore, it is
indeed necessary to seek God when He can be found. " Seek ye the Lord
while He may be found." (Isa. Iv. 6.) Yes, because there will be a time
when He will no longer be found. Poor sinners poor blind ones who put off their
conversion until the hour of their death, when there will be no more time to be
converted! Oleaster well says, that "the wicked will never have learned to
do well save when there is no time in which to do it." God wishes all men
to be saved; but He will punish those who are obstinate in their sins.
If some miserable sinner living in sin should be seized with an apoplectic fit,
and thus be deprived of his senses, what pity all those would feel who would
see him die thus, without the Sacraments, and without any sign of repentance!
and, on the contrary, what great joy would not every one experience, if this
poor sinner should recover from his fit, seek for absolution, and become
repentant? But is not he indeed mad who, having time to repent, continues in a
state of sin, or else returns to sin, and so places himself in danger of being
surprised by death, at the same time that he is perhaps committing sin? It is
very fearful to see any one die suddenly, and yet so many put themselves in
danger of dying thus, and in danger of dying in sin. "A just weight and
balance are the Lord's." (Prov. xvi. II.) We do not take any account of
the favours which the Lord bestows upon us; but the Lord takes the account and
measures them; and when He sees them despised up to a certain point, lie allows
the sinner to remain in his sin, and in this state to die. Miserable indeed is
that one who defers his repentance until the day of his death. St. Augustine
remarks that "the repentance which is demanded of the infirm is
infirm." St. Jerome says, that amongst a hundred thousand sinners who
remain in a state of sin until the day of their death, hardly one will be
saved. St. Vincent Ferrer declares that it would be a greater miracle for one
who has lived in habitual sin all his life to be saved, than it would be to
raise one who is dead, to life. What sorrow or what repentance could be felt at
the hour of death by him who until that time, has loved sin? Bellarmine tells
us that, having gone to assist a dying person, and having exhorted him to make
one act of contrition, the dying one answered that he did not understand what
contrition meant. Bellarmine tried to explain to him, but the sick one said,
"I do not understand you, father; I am not capable of these things."
And thus he died, "leaving clear signs of his condemnation." St.
Augustine observes that it will be a just punishment to that sinner who has
been unmindful of God during his life, to be unmindful of himself in death. The
apostle warns us, saying, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for
whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap: for he that soweth to his
flesh, shall of the flesh reap corruption." (Gal. vi. 7, 8.) It would
indeed be mocking God for any one to live, despising his love, and then to reap
a reward and everlasting glory; but "God is not mocked." That which
is sown in this life, shall be reaped in the next. He who loves the forbidden
pleasures of this life, shall reap corruption, misery, and eternal death in the
life to come. Christian brother, what is said for others is also said for you.
Tell me, if you were now at the point of death, despaired of by the doctors,
and already in great pain, would you not pray to God to grant you one more
month, one more week, in order to make your conscience clear in His sight? But
God does give you that time now. Return thanks to Him, and quickly try to atone
for the evil you have done, and use every means to be found in a state of grace
whenever death shall come, because then there will be no time to atone for past
evils.
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God, and who is there who would have had so much patience with me as
Thou hast! If Thy goodness were not infinite, I should cease to hope for
pardon. But I have to do with a God who died to pardon and to save me. Thou
dost command me to hope, and I will hope. If my sins affright and condemn me,
Thy merits and Thy promises give me courage. Thou hast promised the life of Thy
grace to him who returns to Thee, "Turn yourselves and live ye."
(Ezek. xviii. 32.) Thou hast promised to embrace him who turns to Thee.
"Turn ye unto Me, . . . and I will turn unto you." (Zee. i. 3.) Thou
hast said that Thou wilt not despise him who humbles himself and repents.
"A broken and contrite heart, O God, shalt Thou not despise." (Ps.
ci. 17.) Behold, O Lord, I return and come to Thee; I confess myself worthy of
condemnation, and I repent of having offended Thee. I sincerely promise never
more to offend Thee willingly, and I would wish to love Thee for evermore. Ah,
do not allow me to be any more ungrateful towards such goodness. Eternal
Father, through the merits of the obedience of Thy Son Jesus Christ, Who died
in obedience to Thy will, let me obey Thee in all things until death. I love
Thee, O Thou Highest Good, and because of the love I bear for Thee, I would
obey Thee in all things. Give me holy perseverance, Thy holy love, and I ask
for nothing more.
Considerations
by St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
from the book, 'Preparation for Death'
CONSIDERATION VII
Sentiments of One who has
Reflected little upon Death
"Set thine house in order: for thou shall die and not live." Isa.
xxxviii. i.
FIRST POINT
IMAGINE yourself at the bed-side of some sick person, to whom a few hours of
life alone remain. Poor creature, see how much he is overcome with pain, with
fainting fits, with suffocation, with want of breath, with cold perspirations,
with a weakness of the brain, that he can scarcely hear, understand, or speak.
But the greatest misery he endures is, that he feels death is approaching, and
instead of thinking about his soul, and of making his reckoning sure, he thinks
alone about his physicians, and the remedies which can be applied to free him
from the disease, and from the pains which are killing him. St. Laurence
Justinian, speaking of people who are thus dying, observes that "Nothing,
save themselves, suffices to occupy their thoughts." His relations and
friends should, at least, warn him of the dangerous state in which he is; but
no, there is not one amongst them who has the courage to tell him that he is
dying, and instead of advising him to take the Holy Sacrament, all refuse to
tell him, lest they should give him offence by so doing. O my God from this
moment, I indeed thank Thee that when I am dying Thou wilt allow me to be
assisted by the dear brothers of my congregation, whose only interest will then
be my eternal salvation, and who will all endeavour, as far as they can, to make
my death a glorious one But although they do not warn him that death is
approaching, nevertheless, the sick man, seeing the family in such confusion,
the number of doctors who are so busily talking, the many and numberless
remedies that are tried, is filled with terror and confusion, and amidst the
continued attacks of fear, remorse, and distrust, says within himself,
"Alas! perhaps the end of my days is already come." What then will be
the feelings of the dying man when he is told that he is dying? "Set thine
house in order: for thou shalt die and not live." With what fear, will he
not be told that his illness is mortal, that he must make his peace with God,
and receive the Blessed Sacrament, and bid farewell to the world? What! he
exclaims, must I leave the world, and all I possess, that house, that villa,
those relations, friends, conversations, games, and amusements? He is told that
he must, for already is the lawyer come, and then he has to sign this document,
"I bequeath, I bequeath." And what does he take away with him?
Nothing, except what he is covered with, which, within a very short time will
decay with him in the grave.
Oh what grief and sadness will the dying man feel, when he sees the tears of
his household, and the silence of his friends who keep silence, not having the
heart to speak in his presence! But the greatest punishment that he will have
to bear, will be the dreadful stings of conscience which in that tempest, as it
were, will be felt so much more, because of the corrupt life which he has led,
up to the hour of his death notwithstanding the seasonable advice of his
spiritual fathers, and the many resolutions made, which have been either never
performed or else entirely neglected. He will then exclaim, "O wretched
one that I am, God has granted me so many lights, I have had so much time to
make my conscience clear in his sight, and yet I have not done it; and at
length death has overtaken me! What would it have cost me to fly from that
occasion to sin, to keep myself from that friendship, and to avail myself of
confession? And even though it should have cost me much, nevertheless I ought
to have done everything I could, to save my immortal soul which was
all-important. Oh, that I had carried that good resolution into practice. Oh, that
I had continued as I began. Then indeed should I be happy now! But I did not do
it, and now there is no time. The feelings of dying men, such as I have
described, who have been during life so forgetful of their conscience, resemble
the feelings of those who are for ever lost, who, when in hell, lament over
their sins as being the cause of their punishment, but they lament without
finding any relief or remedy.
Affections and Prayers
O Lord, if at this moment the news of my approaching death were to be brought
to me, such would be my sentiments of grief. But I thank Thee for giving me
this light and this time to amend. No, my God, I do not wish to fly again from
Thee; it is so many times that Thou hast sought me. Justly indeed ought I now
to fear, lest, if I do not return to Thee again and come to Thee, Thou wilt
altogether abandon me. Thou didst give me a heart to love Thee, but I have put
it to so bad a use; I have loved the creature, but I have not loved Thee, Who
art my Creator and my Redeemer, and Who didst give Thy life for me! Instead of
loving Thee, Oh, how many times have I not displeased Thee, and turned away
from following Thee! I was fully aware that in committing that sin, I should
displease Thee, and yet I did commit it. My Jesus, I am truly sorry for it; I
mourn over it with all my heart: I would indeed become changed. I renounce all
the pleasures of the world, so that I may love, and please Thee, O God of my
soul. Thou hast given me so many proofs of Thy love, that I should wish to give
Thee some proofs of my love before I die. From this time I will accept every
infirmity, and every cross, every scorn, and every vexation, that I must
receive from men only give me strength to endure the same in peace, for I wish
to endure them all to gain Thy love. I love Thee, O Infinite Goodness, more
than anything, only give me more love, and holy perseverance.
SECOND POINT
Oh, how clearly, when the hour of death arrives, do the truths of faith make
themselves felt only to add greater torment to that dying man who has lived a
wicked life, and particularly if he is one who has been consecrated to God, and
so has had much opportunity of serving Him, much time, many good examples, and
much inspiration. O God, with what grief will he then reflect and say, "I once
admonished others, and afterwards have committed more grievous sin than they. I
once left the world, and afterwards have become more attached to its pleasures,
vanities, and love." With what remorse will he then reflect upon the light
which he has received from God, such as would have changed a heathen into a
saint! With what remorse will he then recall to mind that he had despised the
practices of piety in others as weakness of mind, and had praised certain
worldly maxims of self-esteem and self-love; such as not liking other people to
take precedence of us, to avoid suffering, and to enjoy every pleasure which
may present itself.
"The desire of the ungodly shall perish." (Ps. cxii. 10.) When the
hour of death arrives, how much will the time which we waste now be coveted?
St. Gregory tells us in his Dialogues, of a certain rich man, named
Chrysantius, - who had led a very wicked life, and who, when the hour of death
came, cried out against the devils who visibly appeared to him to seize him,
"Give me time, give me until "to-morrow." And these answered
him, saying, "O fool, dost thou now seek time? Thou hast had so much and
wasted it, and spent it in sin; and now dost thou ask for it? Now there is no
more time for thee." The wretched man continued to cry and to implore
help. A son of his, whose name was Massimo, and who was a monk, was with him,
to whom the dying man said, "My son, help me; Massimo, my son, help
me." And in the meantime, throwing himself from one side of the bed to the
other, and thus agitated, and with cries of despair, he breathed forth his
wretched soul. Alas, that these foolish ones should so love their folly in
life, but should put off until the hour of death to open their eyes to their
folly, and then confess that they have been so unwise! For at that time it only
serves to increase the difficulties which they feel in trying to atone for the
sins which they have committed; and dying in this frame of mind, the salvation
of these souls is very doubtful. My brother, perhaps whilst reading this you
are saying to yourself, "Yes, it is very doubtful." But if it is so
doubtful, your folly and your misfortune is much greater still if, as you know
and understand these truths in life, you do not try during life to make amends
for past sins. These words, even, which you have just read, would be a sword of
sorrow for you in death.
Arise, therefore, for as there is time to avoid a death so frightful, hasten to
make amends for the past, and wait not until there will be no fit time for
reparation. Wait not for another month, another week. It may be that this light
which God now grants to you in mercy, may be the last light and the last call
for you. It is foolish, indeed, not to wish to think upon death, which is
absolutely certain, and on which eternity depends; but it is greater folly to
think upon it, and not to prepare for it. Make those reflections and
resolutions now, which you would make if you were dying now with profit, but at
that time very uselessly; now in the hope of being saved, but at that time in
great fear, lest you should not be saved. A gentleman of the court of Charles
XI., when leaving court, being asked by the emperor for what reason he was
leaving, answered, that in order to be saved it is necessary that some interval
should elapse between the time of repentance from a sinful life and the hour of
death, so that a period of repentance may be passed through.
Affections and Prayers
No, my God, I will no longer abuse Thy mercy. I thank Thee for the light which
Thou art now giving me, and I promise Thee to change my life, to amend my life.
I can see plainly that Thou wilt not bear with me much longer. And shall I wait
until Thou wilt be constrained to condemn me to everlasting death? or until
Thou wilt give me up to a life utterly lost, which would be a greater
punishment to me than death itself? Look upon me at Thy feet; receive me into
Thy favour. I know I do not deserve it; but Thou hast said that "the
wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall thereby in the day that he turneth
from his wickedness." (Ezek. xxxiii. 12.) If, therefore, my Jesus, in the
time that is past, I have offended Thy infinite Goodness, now I repent with all
my heart, and I hope for pardon from Thee. With St. Anselm, I will say to Thee,
"Suffer not my soul to be lost through its sins, for Thou hast redeemed it
with Thy Blood." Look not upon my ingratitude, look only upon that love
which caused Thee to die for me. If I have lost Thy grace, Thou hast not lost
the power to give it back to me. Have pity therefore upon me, my dear Redeemer.
Pardon me, and give me the grace to love Thee; whilst I, from this day forward,
promise to love none other than Thee. Thou hast chosen me from amongst so many
of Thy creatures to love Thee; therefore I choose Thee, O my Sovereign Good, to
love Thee above every other thing. Thou dost go before me with Thy Cross I will
not cease to follow Thee with that cross which Thou dost give me to carry. I
embrace every mortification and every trouble which may come to me from Thee.
It is enough that I am not deprived of Thy grace, for with that I am indeed
content.
THIRD POINT
To the dying man, who during life has been forgetful concerning his soul's
good, there will be thorns in everything that presents itself to him. There
will be a thorn in the memory of pleasures that are past a thorn in the
remembrance of rivalries overcome, and of pomps displayed a thorn in the
friends who will come to see him, with everything that they bring back to his
memory a thorn in the spiritual fathers, who by turns will assist him a thorn
in the last Sacraments which he will receive.
The poor sufferer will then exclaim, "O fool that I have been! I ought to
have become a saint, with all the lights, and opportunities, which God granted
to me; I ought to have led a life of happiness, in the favour of God; and now,
what is remaining to me of the many years that are past, except torments,
distrust, fears, stings of conscience, and an account which I shall have to
render up to God? And it is indeed doubtful whether my soul will be
saved." And when will he say all this? Not until the oil in his lamp is
nearly consumed, and the scene of this world is about to close upon him for
ever not until he has both eternities in view: the one an eternity of
everlasting joy; the other an eternity of everlasting woe not until the tune is
approaching for that last gasp, upon which depends his everlasting blessedness,
or his everlasting despair even as long as God is God. What would he not then
give, to have one more year, one more month, or at least one more week, with a
clear head? For suffering then, as he will do, with distraction of the head,
oppression at the chest, and failing breath, he will be able to do nothing; he
will not be able to reflect, nor to employ his mind in doing one good action;
he finds himself shut up as it were in a dark pit of confusion, where he can
imagine nothing else but that there is a great ruin hanging over him from which
he feels himself unable to flee away. Therefore he will long for time; but it will
be said to him, "Proficiscere," depart, make haste, put your
accounts in order as best you can, during the short time which remains to you,
and depart; for dost thou not know that death neither waits for, nor respects
any one? Oh what terror will it then be for him to think and to say, "I am
alive this morning; very likely this evening I shall be dead! To-day I am lying
in this room; perhaps to-morrow I may be in my grave! And where will my soul
be?" When he feels the cold sweat of death coming upon him when he hears
his relations go from the room, never more to return during his life when his
sight begins to grow dim and his eyes become darkened but what will be the use
of understanding these truths then, when the tune for profiting by the
understanding, is past?
Affections and Prayers
Ah, my God, Thou dost not wish me to die; but Thou desirest that I should be
converted and live. I thank Thee for having waited for me until now, and I
thank Thee for the light which Thou art now giving me. I know the error I have
committed in neglecting Thy friendship, the vile and miserable pleasures
through which I have accounted Thee of so little value. I repent and I grieve
with all my heart, for having done Thee so grievous a wrong. Ah, do not cease,
in the life which may remain to me, to assist me with Thy light and Thy grace,
so that I may know how to do that which I must do, in order to amend my life.
Of what use will it be for me to understand this truth, when the time for
reparation will be taken from me? "Deliver not up to beasts the souls that
trust in Thee." When the devil shall tempt me again to offend Thee, I
beseech Thee, my Jesus, through the merits of Thy Passion, to stretch forth Thy
hand and to deliver me from falling into sin, and from again remaining a slave
of the enemy. Grant, that then I may ever flee unto Thee, and that I may never
cease to entreat Thy protection as long as the temptation may last. Thy Blood
is my hope, and Thy Goodness is my love. I love Thee, my God. Thou Who art
worthy of infinite love, grant that I may ever love Thee. Let me know from what
things I must separate myself so that I may be Thine alone, for I would be
Thine alone; but do Thou give me the strength to fulfil the same.
The rosary was originally called the Psalter of the Blessed Virgin Mary because Our Lady is venerated by
the angelic greeting (the Hail Mary) repeated one hundred fifty times, corresponding to the number of
the Davidic Psalter, and by the Lord’s Prayer before each decade. Superimposed on these prayers are certain
meditations showing forth the entire life of Our Lord Jesus Christ, thus completing the method of prayer
devised by the Fathers of the Holy Roman Church. In this we see that the rosary actually has its origin
partly in the Divine Office, the official prayer of the Church, in which all 150 Psalms are recited/chanted
in the course of each week.
Whoever shall faithfully serve me by the recitation of the rosary shall receive signal graces.